I don’t believe women get paid less because men get paid more.
I’ve said that in International Women’s Day interviews for years. Fewer people invite me now because my answer never changes. Too many women don’t negotiate. We don’t know how, and we don’t see our own worth.
So if you want to know how to negotiate your worth as a woman in business, start there. Not with the system. With you.
I’ve spent decades in what people call a man’s world, and I keep choosing it. I’ve taken eight different industries to millionaire status, from recycled glass to supplements, from real estate to oil and gas. Cannabis is about to become number nine. The industry never mattered. Being a woman never mattered either.
What matters is who you are being, who you attract, and whether your mission is big enough to carry a whole team. And men, keep reading. You’ll do business with us, and in my experience, it takes both of us at the table.
Act As If You’re the Expert You’re Becoming
The first strategy I live by is the act-as-if principle. It is not fake it till you make it.
Faking means pretending you’ve already arrived. Acting as if means you operate today by the standards of the person you’re becoming. One is a costume. The other is a decision.
I learned the difference in 1996. I left Chevron and became the master distributor of the Cashflow game. I jumped straight into the financial world, and I watched how that team operated, pitfalls and all. Sharon, who I still call my financial mom, showed me how it worked from the inside.
I was in my 30s and the cash flow game girl. People would ask me, condescendingly, “Well, are you a millionaire?”
My answer: “I’m going to be one. If you’d like to be one with me, get on my team and let’s move.”
With that attitude, I helped make other people millionaires before I became one myself. I hit my first millionaire milestone in 1999 through real estate, then moved right into oil and gas. Then I moved into recycled glass, supplements, my books, and speaking. There’s a system, and it starts with how you show up.
In The Millionaire Maker, I teach Do-Be over Be-Do. People who wait to believe before they act wait too long.
“I’m going to be one. If you’d like to be one with me, get on my team.”
Why Justifying Statements Cost You Money
The fastest way to lose a negotiation is to argue against yourself before it starts. Women do this. Young people do this.
I heard it constantly in my 20s. You’re too young. You don’t have enough experience. You’re not wise enough.
At 24, a Fortune 500 energy company flew me offshore to its oil rigs. It needed nutrition and fitness programs, because every back injury cost the company $60,000. The contract budget ran well into seven figures, and I couldn’t even read most of it. Nobody on that helicopter needed to hear how young I was.
So what do you do when you’re young, or new, or the only woman in the room? You find strategies that work. I attached myself to people older and more experienced than me. Never downgrade yourself.
Listen for these:
- “I’m just a beginner.”
- “I don’t really know what I’m doing.”
- “I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”
Nobody wants to buy from that energy. Nobody wants to be around it.
And stay-at-home moms, are you kidding? You’re raising the next generation, the kids who will carry this country and this world. That’s the biggest job there is. Stop putting “just” in front of it.
“Nobody wants to buy from ‘I’m just a beginner.'”
You Get Paid What You Negotiate, Not What You’re Worth
In Creating a Cash Machine for Life, I wrote it plainly: you don’t get paid what you’re worth; you get paid what you negotiate. That’s the whole pay gap conversation in one line.
So what does knowing your worth look like? I value my time at over $5,000 an hour. Clients pay me $15,000 for three hours of my work, followed by eight half-hour sessions with coaches on my team. That number isn’t a wish. The market pays it.
Here’s how you get there:
- Know your number. Do the math on what your work actually produces, then say the number without apology.
- Be willing to walk away. If you can’t leave the table, you’re not negotiating. You’re asking.
- Learn negotiating strategy. I’ve negotiated eight- and nine-figure deals. I love it at the table, and none of it came naturally. It’s a skill you can learn.
- Understand people. Study linguistics, NLP, and conversation strategy. The more influential you are in a conversation, the closer you get paid to what you’re worth.
One of the eight money myths I break down in The Millionaire Maker is “money is a man thing.” Let him bring home the bacon. Replace it with this: I can and will know about money. A man is not a plan.
“You don’t get paid what you’re worth. You get paid what you negotiate.”
Bring the Right Team to the Table
I always bring a team. Men and women. That’s my big answer to how I get it done.
But a team isn’t a crowd. Every player comes for a specific reason. I bring lawyers when I need lawyers at the party. I bring accountants when I need accountants. I bring my spreadsheet people when the deal lives in the numbers.
Sometimes I know I’m negotiating against strong men who only want to do business with other men. Could I handle it alone? Yes. But I won’t be the bossy person in the room fighting that battle. I bring strong men I trust to that table. I’m still in charge of all of it.
Then know your opponent. Whether it’s your boss, a buyer, or a partner, talk to people who have done business with them before you sit down.
In The Millionaire Maker, I list the players every wealth builder needs: mentors who act as active coaches, top legal counsel, accountants, and leading-edge financial experts. You assemble them before you need them.
And don’t ever feel like bringing a team makes you less, even if you could do it all. If you don’t have time, you need a team. And nobody has enough time.
“Bringing a team doesn’t make you less. It makes you stronger at the table.”
The Five Words That Protect Every Deal
Here’s my favorite tactic, learned from my own mentors.
When I’m one-on-one on a phone call doing a deal, and something feels off, or I’m not certain, or I don’t know yet, I say: “Let me check with my team.”
That line puts a placeholder in the deal. Nobody loses face. Nothing gets signed under pressure.
Then I go back. I breathe. I get mentoring and coaching. And I come back to the negotiation ready to ask for what I’m worth and what the deal deserves.
Most people cave in the moment because they feel they have to answer on the spot. You don’t. The person with a team behind them never has to.
“Let me check with my team. Five words that buy you the time to win.”
Start Today
Here’s your week:
- Catch your justifying statements. Write down every “just,” “only,” or “I’m new” you say this week. Rewrite each one as the expert you’re becoming.
- Calculate your real number. Take what one engagement pays and divide it by the hours it takes. Then decide what it should be.
- Pick your next negotiation: a raise, a contract, a deal. Call two people who have done business with the person across the table.
- Name your table team. One legal voice, one numbers person, one mentor. Write their names down.
- Practice the placeholder. Say “Let me check with my team” out loud until it feels natural.
Want to see the gap between where you are and where you want to be? Grab my Gap Analysis, or book a strategy call with my team.
Negotiate for your worth. Never compromise. Never give up.
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